Monday, July 21, 2008

state of flux

Hey friends. I would really appreciate your prayers right now.

I have so many decisions to make in the near future & so little time to make them. I am considering going back to school to pursue a Master's Degree in Speech Pathology. I've been accepted into a program to pursue the prerequisites for the Master's program. Those of you that have spoken with me much, know that I've been trying to pinpoint a direction for furthering my education for a while. I think that will be a good fit for me for many reasons, but mainly because it will allow me to have technical expertise in a field that requires a specific degree, while utilizing my creativity and passion for making a difference in people's lives. I also recently coordinated a wedding with a friend whom I was planning on entering into business with. We are scheduled to do a bridal show this Sunday & she just told me that because she doesn't need me financially to run the business, we will not be partnering, but that I will instead be a contractor to her & I'm not sure if that's worth the time & effort to me. It also is not very motivating in terms of seeking out additional business. This has really upset me, mainly because I feel like I've wasted a lot of my time and effort already. I am trying not to be upset, and don't want to jeopardize our friendship, but I have a lot of praying and thinking to do as far as how to proceed. I need to do something at least part time to help my family financially. With gas prices sky rocketing and me staying home - it leaves very little for us. I could also get a full-time job if I found one that was a good fit for my passion and qualifications. Also, Clint is preparing to go back to school and has a few different paths he is considering. His decision will very much determine the course of my decisions on all of these things. With him going to school, this will put a little more strain on my evenings, as I will be alone with Jonas most days & evenings.

I feel torn in many different directions, but am needing some clarification and guidance. I enjoyed helping coordinate the wedding very much, but do not see myself doing that on my own in the future. It's too much for one person without support staff. I do not think I could do that full-time and be a full-time student as well.

Also, I have to consider child care for Jonas. It is sad for me to think about not spending my day with him, but I think now is a good time for me to pursue higher education, especially because I feel that the outcome will allow me to work and have a schedule similar to his when he begins school.

Anyway...there are so may considerations and I'm a little overwhelmed. I'd really appreciate your prayers and wisdom.

Thanks friends!