Tuesday, December 6, 2005

ode to friends

To all of my friends:

I am so sorry I don’t keep up with you the way I should. The week progresses on & I find it harder & harder to keep up in general!

Clint & I are doing well. We put up our first real (fake) Christmas tree! =) It will be our first Christmas in our new home, that is, if we decide to stay in town for it. What does everyone else have planned for Christmas?

Sometimes I feel as though no one reads this. That may be true, so if you’re out there and you actually take time to read this, please feel free to leave a post!

Anyway, I just wanted to say a few quick lines…let people know how things are going. I’ll try to post some pictures soon, if I am able.

Here is the cutest picture of Becky (expecting) & her sister Wendy (also expecting) =) Yeah!! I'm so excited & happy for her & for Michael. =)

Aren't they cute?

Drop me a line! =)

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

funky bkgrnd

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

strange day

Today the strangest thing has been happening to me. I had a pretty good morning work as usual. Clint called just to say hi, like I love for him to do, because hearing his sweet voice is truly the highlight of my day. I expressed a need to talk with him this evening. Next, good things…I found Ali’s music on purevolume quite by accident….Shortly thereafter….breakdown. I mean tears, and sobbing…at work. There is conflict in my soul, but it’s something I can’t quantify. Is there such a great divide between where I am and where I’m intended to be? By design this is not where I belong. There is longing in my soul…for more…for a deeper, more intimate relationship. To truly serve as I’m designed to do. To stop dancing around and delight in You God. What do You want me to do? I’m ready. I want it now more than ever. This heartbreak is overwhelming and for what? For people. Do I need to be more focused? Lord please help me to know what to do. I feel you pulling but am so confused.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I’m feeling a tugging. I don’t know if God is speaking to me through this situation or only myself, but I’m using discernment and focusing in on listening quietly if it is Him talking.

Work is slow today. It seems as if it is feast or famine. Either I’m slammed with more than I can handle in a regular work week, or I have nothing specific to do, and have to create projects for myself. I’m not sure which is better, but I think I’d rather have the former. (That’s debatable I guess).

Clint & I have discussed “going” many times. He has been ready & is still ready to go. I need a little more coaxing. Sometimes I feel so funny. It’s not as if I do not have a desire to go – I do, it’s just that I’m a little nervous about being so far away from everyone I know & that knows me & from the language & culture I know & understand. While I was in college I didn’t so much feel like this, but after traveling to Sweden, and going through so much in such a short time – including an accident that could have killed me – with no one around who knew me at all, I grew a little more nervous. I think I’m getting more and more comfortable with the idea, but some days are better than others. I just know that God has given me this compassion for a reason. That I’m intended to share it with people & bring them to a mature understanding of Him. I try to do that here. That’s where the debate comes in with Clint & I. He has ALWAYS felt a calling to overseas missions, whereas I believe I am called to serve no matter where I am. This could be the U.S. He agrees, but ultimately believes he’s called to go overseas.

I am beginning to understand his thinking. It’s the discipline of total obedience; total dependence; faith that God will take care of us & provide for us & protect us through all things. Overseas missions is so dependent on this core philosophy & practice. You go & take nothing with you. You live as your new neighbors live. You learn their customs & language. You love them & lead them to God through a display of this love through relationships built upon trust & understanding.

This may be the worst time to go…Clint & I have stable jobs that we enjoy. We just bought a home. We are young & enjoying our time together, we are plugged into a great church where we are able to actively minister & be ministered to.

This may be the best time to go…We are young, we have no children, we are agile & adaptive, we are open to new experiences, we enjoy new places & new faces. We would love to share God with others & bring them to a full understanding of his overwhelming love & grace.

I’ve been researching options. I’ve looked at the IMB. I’m not sure if the opportunities they offer would fully utilize our gifts. I believe that if we go with them we will be able to contribute a great deal, but would like to explore other options. I looked into the Peace Corps. This would be a unique option. While not inherently a Christian organization, we’d be ambassador’s of a sort…and they allow couples to serve. We’d be able to stay for a few years & live in much the same way career missionaries do.

I’m still praying through this. I’d appreciate your prayers friends. I’m not sure if this is something to consider for the immediate future, but it is something to pray for Clint & I for the general future.


Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Thursday, September 15, 2005

monterey jellyfish

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Progress is painful

It's not that bad, really. Clint and I are no where near settled in, but we are one step closer. Friends that own homes tell us they are a constant work in progress...now I'm beginning to see why that's true.

We have been there for about two days now, and already it feels like our "honey-do" lists are far longer than what we'd be able to accomplish in a year, even if we worked as hard as we currently are! Right now we work all day long, then return to the old home to pack & clean, or the new home to drop off stuff. Clint is almost finished with the tile in the kitchen. It looks really great (I'm very impressed). We have two rooms completely painted, and had some help from friends at church priming the laundry room and painting a bathroom (check that off the list)! There are still touch ups & tons of trim to paint, but it's a work in progress....what can I say?

A HUGE Thank You to Adam & Marlene who have basically donated a week of their time to our cause. This would really not have been possible without you. And a HUGE Thanks to our friends at church who were willing to put in some hours to pull together with us for this big change in our lives. Thank you thank you thank you!

Here are a couple more pictures of the tile progression - the completed kitchen will knock your socks off! Great job Clint, Adam, Marlene, Darrell, Carrie, Britton, Scott, Mary, Jana, Doug, Shad, Mom & everyone else that has lent a hand so far!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

home sweet home


Well, it’s official!

Clint and I are the proud owners of a new home. (Well, not exactly new, but new to us!) We are very excited, and completely overwhelmed with all of the changes we plan to make on the inside. I’ll try to track progress on here.

We won’t get to start moving in until later on this week, but the closing was on Monday, Aug.15th. =)

And get this….there is actually a yard….which means…maybe, just maybe…we can get a dog? I think that’s pretty far off, but it think that would be a lot of fun.

After we get settled, we plan to have some people over to get our new home broken in =)

I’ll attach a pic or two.


Tuesday, August 2, 2005

work is fun

we played cat and mouse with a camera the other day...and this was the result. ah...work....it's an okay place, when you work with good people...and i do. =)

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Fall's Creek

Went to Fall’s Creek last night with Clint. He was asked to speak last night for our church’s youth group. The message was a good one, and one that Clint and I probably need to spend some time walking through again. I’m not sure who the speaker is right now for Fall’s Creek, but his message was also pertinent for us –and I’m glad we got to be there for it. He spoke on God wrestling with Jacob in the desert. He gave a very interesting perspective. He said it would be kind of like a kid wrestling with their dad. That the Dad only did as much as needed to keep the kid in place – not exerting to much force – not trying to hurt the kid – just doing enough to make the kid realize he had no chance of winning the fight. He gave the kid chances to feel like they actually had a chance, but never let the kid really gain the upper hand. He talked about God tiring and touching Jacob’s hip to make it out of place. The Hebrew word for “touch” means “to physically wrench” – so this, he said, is similar to when our dad’s would get tired wrestling with us, and they would hold us down in a certain way to show us the power they had to do something, if they really wanted to – just enough to let us know that we we not in control. He talked about when the Bible talks about God saying to Jacob –“Let me go, it’s almost morning.” He said that it would appear that Jacob actually has the upper hand here – that God is asking to be let go. And that God asked Jacob, “What is your name” because of the meaning behind the name. Jacob’s name means “heel-grabber” thief, swindler – and God wanted to hear him own up to that. He also said at this point, Jacob was not winning, but that instead he pictures him going to a last-ditch effort to seize the ankle of God, and was latched onto his leg –refusing to let go. He sees it as God saying – “Okay son, it’s time to let go now – seriously”. Jacob wouldn’t let go until he had received God’s blessing. After owning up to his name – God did bless Jacob, by giving him a new name – Israel. This is like our new names in Christ. We are not the same – we are redefined – new – renamed. I thought this was a beautiful analogy for our lives in Christ. We can wrestle all we want, but we are not going to win on our own.

Clint’s message, as I mentioned earlier was about living to the potential Christ meant for us to. To recognize that salvation was not a “free pass” to exist for eternity, but a chance and a call for us to live now – fully – and to do that for eternity. He spoke on God calling us to have a life of pleasure, a life of passion, and a life of purpose. He talked about people like Jim Elliot, and the prophets in the Bible rejoicing after being brutally beaten, because they had been counted worthy of being tortured in the name of Christ. He challenged us to live – a life of passion – fully putting ourselves into reaching others for Christ – to passionately pursue our purpose in Christ. Clint and I are still trying to do this, and revisiting these simple messages was what we needed.

I’m looking forward to the rest of the week.

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

Happy day after the 4th of July!

We returned early this morning from Phoenix, after a wonderful 4th of July weekend. Clint had already been in Arizona doing some field tests for his company’s land-mine detection sensors, and I flew down to meet him in Phoenix (actually Gilbert) for the weekend. My dad recently moved to Gilbert, AZ, the nations fastest growing city. It’s such a big place, and surprisingly lush, despite the desert you’re probably imagining. My dad’s new house is great, and his backyard is fit for a movie star. Clint helped my dad get wired. I assisted when I could, and when I was of no help, I went swimming. Have I ever mentioned how much I love swimming through a cool rush of water on a warm day? Not much beats that. I also partook of the slide – which I promised Sarah I would do in her absence. It was really great. I’ll try to get pictures if I can get my dad to snap a few.

Beverly flew down to visit my dad, and we ended up being on the same flight together. She’s going to stay on for the rest of the week, and David and Diane, Dad’s friends will be visiting him then too. He’s had a rash of guests lately, but I don’t think he minds. We went tubing in the Salt River, and ate at a lot of fine dining establishments –including: Rubio’s, Inn-n-Out Burger, and Pappadeaux’s to name a few. We didn’t get to see fireworks on the ground, but we did manage to sneak peeks at a few in the air on our landing in Tulsa, which was interesting.

The moment we landed, the mugginess I’ve come to know as home hit me, and I’m sad to say…I miss Arizona’s dry heat. Anyway, it was a nice vacation- and a really good visit with my dad.

Now it’s back to work and life as usual. Hope everyone had a great 4th of July!

Thursday, June 30, 2005

This can be addicting

I’m really getting old. At least that’s what I’ve decided after last night. After helping with youth yesterday – Alisha, another youth sponsor and friend of mine, decided that she was going to have a “Night Out” for the girls in our youth group. I was able to go hang out for a few hours, and several of the girls came. Some stopped by, and others were able to stay for the night. Alisha is moving out of her apartment this week, so it was completely empty – which made it great for sleeping bags and pillows.

I found myself trying to impart all kinds of wisdom to them – as if I know so much about life…please. I know I’m still learning, but I still heard myself saying things my mom would have said to me. And it made me sad, because while the girls are all wonderful – it seemed like they were missing the point of who God is. How great he is. How our lives are so insignificant without him, and yet – how much we are loved by him. I thought maybe if I reiterated that point in different ways, subtly, over and over again – they would somehow find it in themselves somewhere deep down….but I’m not sure if that’s true. I guess God will reveal things to them in his perfect time, but I want to share Him and His overwhelming greatness with them, and I want to know they understand.

It just hurts me to see people living on the surface of their potential in Christ. To see young women so upset by high school situations. It’s only natural…they are in high school, it’s just that I want to wake them up to how little of a part of life that really is. I’m the pot, calling the kettle black. I’ll admit it. Whatever stage of life you’re in, you always feel like the issues surrounding you are so huge and overwhelming. We all get caught up in daily life – and some of us forget that really “living” is so much more. To be able to see past today’s worries – b/c as we’ve been told “each day has enough worries of it’s own”. But to know what’s next…to know what we’re supposed to do – to know with certainty that we are following God’s will for our lives….how sweet it is when you know you’re in line. How sad when you are unsure.

Alisha and I talked about starting a business of sorts together. The objective would be "equipping the saints" and enabling people to “go” – More about this some other time, maybe, ….but I did get excited thinking about the possibilities…..

Anyway – that’s all for now. I was up until nearly 3am with the girls before I finally went home and got some sleep….It was a blast & they are great girls, who I'm really looking forward to getting to know better.....

In Him,

Monday, June 27, 2005

Welcome Back


After visiting my good friend Elizabeth's site, elizabethlicitra.blogspot.com - I felt guilty thatI had let mine slip, and have decided to attempt to update this semi-regularly. Funny thing is...Elizabeth and I actually have the same background =)

This picture is from my trip to Monterey Bay Aquarium. I was travelling for business in April- but was able to take a slight detour. Phil and Kurt decided to sit this one out - but I had a great discussion with a sea otter. =)

This is a fairly recent picture - not the most recent - but at least it's something! =)

Since I last posted - Beck has gotten married to Michael - and even recently announced that she is pregnant! =) Congratulations! John has gotten married! Noel got married! Elizabeth & Brian had Corban - who has his own site too..(And we've made a lot of new friends who are also getting married! =)

Clint and I are attending a great church- and are really enjoying getting plugged in there. We've also made some really great friends there - one of whom (not to mention any names...Adam) does the church website. To check out his work & the church visit - www.edmondchurch.com - then if you want to find out more about God visit us! It's a friendly place with plenty of nice people who would love to invite you in & tell you more!

Clint and I are still enjoying being married. No changes there! =) We recently had an opportunity to visit his family in Italy ( in the end April) and had an absolutely wonderful time there. We visited Tuscany, Rome, Pisa, Pompeii, Naples.....yes, we got to see a lot of Italy. A big thanks to Clint's parents for being such gracious hosts! Bonjourno! Jen is there for the summer, and will shortly be going to Spain to study abroad! That should be fantastico!

I didn't get to meet up with any of my friends from Sweden while I was in Italy, but I did manage to visit with a few via email. I miss you all if you read this. I hope you are doing well. Please write me if you have a chance.

Goals for now: Continue to work hard, and be diligent in being all that I have been created for. Although my purpose is yet to be determined, I am ready and wiling to be clay - and will do my best to be patient in the process. I am learning about compassion and mercy, from a different angle, and am enjoying the new perspective.

Guess that's about it for now. I'll try to write more later! =)