strange day

Today the strangest thing has been happening to me. I had a pretty good morning work as usual. Clint called just to say hi, like I love for him to do, because hearing his sweet voice is truly the highlight of my day. I expressed a need to talk with him this evening. Next, good things…I found Ali’s music on purevolume quite by accident….Shortly thereafter….breakdown. I mean tears, and sobbing…at work. There is conflict in my soul, but it’s something I can’t quantify. Is there such a great divide between where I am and where I’m intended to be? By design this is not where I belong. There is longing in my soul…for more…for a deeper, more intimate relationship. To truly serve as I’m designed to do. To stop dancing around and delight in You God. What do You want me to do? I’m ready. I want it now more than ever. This heartbreak is overwhelming and for what? For people. Do I need to be more focused? Lord please help me to know what to do. I feel you pulling but am so confused.

I’m feeling a tugging. I don’t know if God is speaking to me through this situation or only myself, but I’m using discernment and focusing in on listening quietly if it is Him talking.

Work is slow today. It seems as if it is feast or famine. Either I’m slammed with more than I can handle in a regular work week, or I have nothing specific to do, and have to create projects for myself. I’m not sure which is better, but I think I’d rather have the former. (That’s debatable I guess).

Clint & I have discussed “going” many times. He has been ready & is still ready to go. I need a little more coaxing. Sometimes I feel so funny. It’s not as if I do not have a desire to go – I do, it’s just that I’m a little nervous about being so far away from everyone I know & that knows me & from the language & culture I know & understand. While I was in college I didn’t so much feel like this, but after traveling to Sweden, and going through so much in such a short time – including an accident that could have killed me – with no one around who knew me at all, I grew a little more nervous. I think I’m getting more and more comfortable with the idea, but some days are better than others. I just know that God has given me this compassion for a reason. That I’m intended to share it with people & bring them to a mature understanding of Him. I try to do that here. That’s where the debate comes in with Clint & I. He has ALWAYS felt a calling to overseas missions, whereas I believe I am called to serve no matter where I am. This could be the U.S. He agrees, but ultimately believes he’s called to go overseas.

I am beginning to understand his thinking. It’s the discipline of total obedience; total dependence; faith that God will take care of us & provide for us & protect us through all things. Overseas missions is so dependent on this core philosophy & practice. You go & take nothing with you. You live as your new neighbors live. You learn their customs & language. You love them & lead them to God through a display of this love through relationships built upon trust & understanding.

This may be the worst time to go…Clint & I have stable jobs that we enjoy. We just bought a home. We are young & enjoying our time together, we are plugged into a great church where we are able to actively minister & be ministered to.

This may be the best time to go…We are young, we have no children, we are agile & adaptive, we are open to new experiences, we enjoy new places & new faces. We would love to share God with others & bring them to a full understanding of his overwhelming love & grace.

I’ve been researching options. I’ve looked at the IMB. I’m not sure if the opportunities they offer would fully utilize our gifts. I believe that if we go with them we will be able to contribute a great deal, but would like to explore other options. I looked into the Peace Corps. This would be a unique option. While not inherently a Christian organization, we’d be ambassador’s of a sort…and they allow couples to serve. We’d be able to stay for a few years & live in much the same way career missionaries do.

I’m still praying through this. I’d appreciate your prayers friends. I’m not sure if this is something to consider for the immediate future, but it is something to pray for Clint & I for the general future.

Listening…..
Mandy

monterey jellyfish

Progress is painful

It's not that bad, really. Clint and I are no where near settled in, but we are one step closer. Friends that own homes tell us they are a constant work in progress...now I'm beginning to see why that's true.

We have been there for about two days now, and already it feels like our "honey-do" lists are far longer than what we'd be able to accomplish in a year, even if we worked as hard as we currently are! Right now we work all day long, then return to the old home to pack & clean, or the new home to drop off stuff. Clint is almost finished with the tile in the kitchen. It looks really great (I'm very impressed). We have two rooms completely painted, and had some help from friends at church priming the laundry room and painting a bathroom (check that off the list)! There are still touch ups & tons of trim to paint, but it's a work in progress....what can I say?

A HUGE Thank You to Adam & Marlene who have basically donated a week of their time to our cause. This would really not have been possible without you. And a HUGE Thanks to our friends at church who were willing to put in some hours to pull together with us for this big change in our lives. Thank you thank you thank you!

Here are a couple more pictures of the tile progression - the completed kitchen will knock your socks off! Great job Clint, Adam, Marlene, Darrell, Carrie, Britton, Scott, Mary, Jana, Doug, Shad, Mom & everyone else that has lent a hand so far!

home sweet home

HOME Sweet HOME.



Well, it’s official!

Clint and I are the proud owners of a new home. (Well, not exactly new, but new to us!) We are very excited, and completely overwhelmed with all of the changes we plan to make on the inside. I’ll try to track progress on here.

We won’t get to start moving in until later on this week, but the closing was on Monday, Aug.15th. =)

And get this….there is actually a yard….which means…maybe, just maybe…we can get a dog? I think that’s pretty far off, but it think that would be a lot of fun.

After we get settled, we plan to have some people over to get our new home broken in =)

I’ll attach a pic or two.

-Mandy

work is fun

we played cat and mouse with a camera the other day...and this was the result. ah...work....it's an okay place, when you work with good people...and i do. =)