strange day

Today the strangest thing has been happening to me. I had a pretty good morning work as usual. Clint called just to say hi, like I love for him to do, because hearing his sweet voice is truly the highlight of my day. I expressed a need to talk with him this evening. Next, good things…I found Ali’s music on purevolume quite by accident….Shortly thereafter….breakdown. I mean tears, and sobbing…at work. There is conflict in my soul, but it’s something I can’t quantify. Is there such a great divide between where I am and where I’m intended to be? By design this is not where I belong. There is longing in my soul…for more…for a deeper, more intimate relationship. To truly serve as I’m designed to do. To stop dancing around and delight in You God. What do You want me to do? I’m ready. I want it now more than ever. This heartbreak is overwhelming and for what? For people. Do I need to be more focused? Lord please help me to know what to do. I feel you pulling but am so confused.